Engraved tags for the breed that snores through its own name being called. We make them in a house with seven English bulldogs, so the jokes aren't guesses.
A bulldog does not wear a tag so much as marinate it. Drool, slobber, the water bowl they half-climb into, the dirt they plow with their face, the nap in direct sun, the snoring that rattles the whole collar for six hours a night. Printed tags give up. Engraved ones don't.
We cut the words into the metal with a fiber laser. Nothing is painted on, so there's nothing to chip or peel off. On the colored tags, the laser lifts the anodized color and exposes bright silver underneath, so the letters stay readable as the tag gets scratched up. On stainless and brass, the mark goes dark and deep.
Slobber-proof is just a side effect of using metal instead of ink.
We didn't start a tag company because we're crafty. We started it because we have seven English bulldogs in Lehi, Utah, they kept losing their tags, and the plain ones at the pet store cost more than a decent lunch. So we bought a laser and started making our own, with the jokes we were already making out loud.
Whisky's tag came first. Polished stainless, paw cut-out, four lines he did not approve. Everything on this site came after that one.
Bulldogs run thick in the neck and wide in the collar, and a 1-inch tag disappears on a 1.5-inch strap. Scale the tag to the collar, not to the dog's attitude.
Small 1 inch
$12
Puppies, and only until the collar changes. On a grown bulldog it reads like a key fob.
Medium 1.5 inch
$14
Fine for a lighter collar or a younger dog, and the quietest option if your bulldog already wears a harness tag.
Large 2 inch
$16
The one we put on our own dogs. Full saying on the front, full name and number on the back, easy to read without taking the collar off.
Short answer: adult English bulldog, standard collar, go Large.
Add $4 for stainless or brass, $6 for polished. Shapes available at the size you pick are shown in the builder, and the preview is exactly what we engrave.
Front of the tag. Two lines, 24 characters each, which is more than enough to insult your own dog. Name and phone number go on the back where it belongs.
I snore.
Drool
Built like
Loaf mode.
Underbite.
Stubborn.
Sit?
Gas is
I cleared
Wrinkles
Breathing
Snores louderEvery line above is 24 characters or fewer, so it fits as written. Want your own? Type it in the builder and the preview shows what fits before you pay.
Same laser, same metal, same jokes about naps and gas — they just land differently on a greyhound. The main builder has every shape, finish and saying we make, for whatever breed is standing on your foot right now.
Questions humans ask
Still stuck? [email protected]. A human answers. The dogs supervise.
The 2-inch Large is what we put on our own seven. Bulldogs have thick necks and wide collars, so a 1-inch tag gets lost. Puppies can start at 1.5 inch.
No. The words are cut into the metal with a laser, not printed on top, so there's no ink to wash off. Anodized aluminum, stainless and brass all shrug off water.
Yes, that's the standard build. The funny saying goes on the front, and your dog's name plus your phone number are engraved on the back. A third back line is optional.
Twelve of them on this page, about snoring, gas, wrinkles, the underbite, the loaf shape and the stubbornness. There's a full bulldog category in our sayings list too.
Custom tags aren't returnable, but if we mis-engrave it, we remake it free. Send a photo and we re-cut it. Tags ship USPS from Lehi, Utah in 3 to 5 days.